Grief Cracked Me Open: How Loss Led Me to a Life of Healing

There are moments in life that divide us into before and after. For me, that moment was the loss of my son.

Before, I was a nurse. A caregiver. A constant presence at work- always tending to others, always putting my own needs last. Nursing wasn’t just my job; it was my identity. I thought I was doing everything right by pouring myself into helping others. But somewhere along the way, I forgot how to take care of me. And more painfully, I missed irreplaceable moments with the people I loved most.

When my son passed, my entire world shattered.

Grief doesn’t just break your heart- it breaks you. The version of me that existed before couldn’t survive that kind of pain. I found myself standing in the rubble of who I used to be, with no roadmap, no energy, no desire to go back to the life I had known.

I tried therapy- 5 different therapists, to be exact. I tried medications to help with the depression and anxiety. But nothing touched the heaviness. Nothing made me feel like “me” again. I was stuck, sitting alone with my thoughts, wondering who I even was now.

But as I sat in that darkness, something unexpected began to happen.

I started to feel… a pull.

A pull toward stillness.

Toward softness.

Toward healing.

That’s when I discovered Reiki- not just as a practice, but as a lifeline. It allowed me to process grief in a way words couldn’t. Energy flowed where my voice had failed. I didn’t need to explain, or even understand- I just had to feel. And for the first time in a long time, I did.

Reiki didn’t “fix” my grief. It held me while I carried it. It helped me remember my body was still a home, not just a shell. It helped me reconnect with my spirit- and with his.

This process led me to Sacred Scrubs. This is not just a business, but a sacred offering to others who feel lost, broken, or tired. A place where healing isn’t rushed or forced- but honored.

If you’ve been cracked open by grief, know this:

You are not broken.

You are becoming- like a caterpillar in its cocoon, disolving into something unrecognizable, only to emerge as something new, something radiant.

And you don’t have to walk that path alone.

Dedication

For Christian-

You were my greatest teacher.

Your live cracked me open, and through the pain,

you led me back to myself.

This healing journey is for you- and for everyone

learning to live with loss

If you’re walking through grief and need a safe space to just be- I’m here.

I offer gentle distance Reiki sessions that support your heart, your energy, and your healing process.

Let’s begin with a free 15-minute consultation